Nasty Vigilante Shanty lyrics

(evil laugh) Mwah-haa-haa

P.
I'm a vigilante and I live inside a box
I am rather stealthy and I move just like a Fox
I travel round the country and I rip apart the naughty
I once killed Mr Whippy in his ice cream factory
My mother was quite evil
so I pulled out my big cannon
and I shot her in the face until she died!

(N.spoken) Ooh, that's not very nice

P. Yes, but...

P.N. I'm a vigilante and there's nothing else I'd be
dispense my justice for a reasonable fee
I'm a vigilante and I kill people for fun
I'm a busy worker but my work is never done
I'm a vigilante and I love just what I do
If you're even slightly naughty then I'll kill you too!

I'm a vigilante and I'll burn you at the steak
It doesn't matter where you go I'll do whatever it takes
I'll hunt you down and I will kill you any way I can
I'll even stoop as low as putting poison in your flan!

(N.spoken) but that's a bit nasty for a dinner party though

P. yes, but...

P.N. I'm a vigilante and there's nothing else I'd be
I dispense my justice for a reasonable fee
I'm a vigilante and I kill people for fun
I'm a busy worker but my work is never done
I'm a vigilante and I love just what I do
If you're even slightly naughty then I'll kill you too!

Heh-heh!
Oi! what are you looking at?

Make sure you don't cross me when I'm in a nasty mood
My methods of disposing of you could be rather crude
I am faned for putting someones rectum on a spike
As you can imagine, it was not something they liked!

(N. spoken) oh, that's starting to get very out of order now

P. yes, but what you must remember is...

P.N. I'm a vigilante and there's nothing else I'd be
I dispense my justice for a reasonable fee
I'm a vigilante and I kill people for fun
I'm a busy worker but my work is never done
I'm a vigilante and I love just what I do
If you're even slightly naughty then I'll kill you too

(you are the weakest link, goodbye)

P. If you get to know me then I can be rather nice
I am a fan of salad and I eat alot of rice
If there's one thing that annoys me it's those stupid bloody French
I would love to kill them all and murder Judy Dench

(spoken)
N-Right that's absolutely it, I can't take any more of this
P-Right come here you...BANG!!
-(pathetic wailing by Neil)
P-well, it just goes to show...

I'm a vigilante and theres nothing else I'd be (shut up neil)
I dispense my justice for a reasonable fee (oh be quiet)
I'm a vigilante and I kill people for fun
I'm a busy worker but my work is never done
I'm a vigilante and I love just what I do
If you're even slightly naughty then I'll kill you to
I'm a vigilante and there's hairs on my chest
I am very famous because I AM THE BEST!!!

mwah-haa-haa-eat-my-mash