Leo (skit) lyrics

This is Leo! And im the cousin of the bitch that dont know what the fuck she
talkin bout! I am the real psychic man! Next caller:

Caller: hello miss leo my uh boyfriend is in jail and i wanna know uh when he
is a-comin out

Leo: ok, i know, he will be-he-wi-, your boyfriend hold on the cards never lie
tyra readin and i am psychic and i am leo and i know when your boyfriend will
be home. hold on i will tell you. the charge is 50 dollar a minute are u cool
with that? you cool wit - ok then hold on your gonna hold on for 15 minute hold
on hold on okay - hold 15 minute hold on Next Caller:

Caller: Yes umm, i wanna know if uh, my mom is have affair with my boyfriend

Leo: Oh! now see girl, this is a very difficult one for me to read, becuase, i
see, i see darkness in your future, i see, now, now is your mother a whore?

Caller: yeas.

Leo: now see dis is what they talk, dis is what the cards say. dis is what me
thought dis is what me taught. now uh, does your momma, uhh, hold on let me
get this one together, hold on. its a 50 dollar charge fee, a minute. are you
cool wit dat? you cool wit dat?

Caller: okay

Leo: okay, Den you hold on too. Ten minute hold on for you. Caller, who on the
line?

Caller: Ajuya

Leo: Ajuya, what the hell u want?

Caller: umm i was just at the clinic and im curious to know--

Leo: hold on! you want to know who the baby's daddy is, am i right?

Caller: (gasp) oh my god

Leo: see! that what we know, the cards never lie, its all in the tyra readin!
Now, now, i see, i see in the cards, i see a, a tall one, a tall one, he has,
he has shot feet

Caller: yes

Leo: ok, and now i see a fat one. Now the fat one hes poor, hes rather poor, he
broke? is the fat one broke?

Caller: michael! yes...

Leo: His name uh, now see girl, my cards say that his name is fred, his name
not michael its fred.

Caller: (gasp!!)how do you know that!?

Leo: see he been lying to yo girl. yes the fat one been lying to you. so u know
what this leads me to believe? it was the other one you were fucking with, the
other one. it was neither one of them it was the other one girl. Now, if you'd
like to know anything else, your gonna have to HOLD ON!