Going Through Changes lyrics

[Chorus]
I'm going through changes, I'm going through changes

Lately, I really
Feel like I'm, rollin' for delph like Philly
Feel like I'm losin' control of myself
I sincerely, apologize if all that I sound like
Is I'm complaining, but life keeps on complicating
And, I'm debating on, leaving this world this evening
Even my girls can see that I'm grieving
I try and hide it but I can't
Why do I act like I am all high and mighty
When inside I'm dying, I am finally realizin' I need, help
Can't do it myself, too weak
Two weeks I've been having ups and down
Going through peaks and valleys
Dilly dallying, around with the idea
Of ending this shit right here
I'm hating my reflection
I walk around the house trying to fight mirrors
I can't stand what I look like, yeah
I look fat, but what do I care
I don't give a fuck, only thing that I fear is Hailie
I'm afraid that if I close my eyes then I might see her, shit

[Chorus]

I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom
Napping at noon, yeah dad's in a bad mood
He's always snapping at you
Marshall what happened that you
Can't stop with these pills, and you've falling off with your skills
And your own fans are laughing at you
It become a problem you're too pussy to tackle
Get up, be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled
Know you just had your heart, ripped out and crushed
They say Proof just flipped out, homie just whipped out and bust
Nah, it ain't like Doody to do that,
He wouldn't fuckin' shoot at, nobody, he'd fight first
But dwelling on it only makes the night worse
Now I'm popping Vikes, Percs, and Methadone Pills
Yeah Em tight verse, you killed it
Fuckin' drug dealers hang around me like Yes-Men
And they gon' do whatever I says, whenever I says it
It's in their best interest to protect their investment
And I just lost my fuckin' best friend, so fuck it I guess then

[Chorus]

(Don't know what I'm going through,
But I just keep on going through changes)

My friends can't understand this new me
That's understandable man, but think how bananas you'd be
You'd be an animal too
If you were trapped in this fame, and caged in it like a zoo
And everybody's lookin' at you
Whacha want me to do?
I'm starting to live like a recluse, and the truth is
Fame is starting to give me an excuse
To be at a, all-time low
I sit alone in my home theater, watching the same damn D-V-D of the
First tour, the last tour, he was still alive
And it hurts, so I fast forward
Sleeping pills would make me feel alright
And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night
I just take a couple more, yeah you're motherfucking right
I ain't slowing down for no one
I am almost homeward bound
Almost in a coma, yeah homie, come on dole 'em out
Daddy don't you die on me
Daddy better hold your ground
Fuck, don't I know the sound of that voice
Yeah baby hold me down

[Chorus]

(Don't know what I'm going through,
But I just keep going through changes)

Wake up in the hospital, full of tubes
Plus somehow I'm pulling through
Swear when I come back, I'm ma be bullet proof
I'm a do it just for proof
I think I should state a few
Facts, cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth
See it just hit me, that what if I would not have made it through
I think about the things that I would have never got say to you
I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do
Hailey this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too
I still love your mother, that'll never change
Think about her every day, we just could never get it together hey
Wish there was a better way for me to say it
But I swear on everything, I'll do anything for her on any day
There are just too many things, to explain
When it rains, guess it pours, guess it does
Wish there wasn't any pain
But I can't pretend there ain't
I ain't placing any blame, I ain't pointing fingers
Heaven knows I've never been a saint
I know that it feels like we just pissed away our history
And just today, I looked at your picture, almost as if to say
I miss you sub-consciously, wish it didn't end this way
But I just had to get away, don't know why, I don't know what else to say
I guess I'm

[Chorus]

Don't know what I'm going through, but I just keep going through changes