I'm A Bum lyrics

Sit around all day, remote control glued to my hand, just waiting for a visit from Ed McMahon. Opportunity is knocking but I can't open the door 'cause I'm shit-faced drunk passed out on the kitchen floor. I'm a bum. Waiting for my fortune to fall into my lap bit if I gotta work for it, I'd rather take a nap. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can play Nintendo. But if you paid me to go to work I still wouldn't go. I'm a bum, I'm a bum. Sit round all day and get nothin' done. I'm a bum, I'm a bum. That's right I'm a bum. The boobtube replaced the dog as mans best friend. It doesn't shit on the floor and always has an ear to lend. Nacho Supreme, a pizza, ten hours of TV is all my life will ever be. I'm a bum, I'm a bum. Sit around all day and get nothin' done. I'm a bum, I'm a bum. If I could pick lotto numbers like I pick my nose, I could escape the life of being an average Joe. 'Til then I'll sit round all day, remote control in hand. Just waiting for a visit from Ed McMahon. I'm a bum, I'm a bum. Sit around all day and get nothin' done. I'm a bum, I'm a bum. I'm a dirty stinkin' bum.