Houseplant Song lyrics

Once I read a book,
And this is what it said,
"If your music has a beat,
Then you're gonna wind up dead."
It doesn't really matter
If it's CHRISTIAN or not,
If it's synchopated rhythm,
Then your soul is gonna rot!

And this book was called,
"HA, You're gonna BURN!"
And in the second chapter,
I went on to learn...

CHORUS
Take two houseplants,
and put 'em to the test,
Set 'em both in front of speakers,
To let the music do the rest
First one you play Mozart,
Or something lovely like that,
Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeath!
Doesn't really matter WHAT kinda rock it is.

So I took my two houseplants,
and I put them to the test,
Set 'em both in front of speakers,
To let the music do the rest
I powered up my Pioneers to let the music roar,
But twenty minutes later, someone's knocking at my door.

I opened up my door,
And there my neighbor stood,
He said, "Man, I'd like to get some sleep,
If you think I could."
I said, "Man, can't you see here
I have got this moral dilemma I have got to get clear.
He said, "What kind of moral dilemma can you have at this time of night,
That makes me so angry I JUST WANNA FIGHT!"

Sorry.

So I pointed to the page,
In that opened book,
That had a picture of a potted plant, and I said,
"Go have a look."

And he read:

CHORUS

"First of all," he said,
"That's Wagner that you're playin',
I've never heard of Petra,
And Isn't Megadeath all dead?"
And secondly, emphatically,
He asked me, "What's the sense,
Of hanging out with houseplants,
When, hey, I live right across the fence?"
And I thought to myself,
Y'know, that's a good point.

So I took my two houseplants
And I put 'em both back outside.
And me and my neighbor,
Well, we went out for a ride.
We talked about all the things,
That really matter most.
Like life n' love n' happiness,
And then the Holy Ghost."

Now my two houseplants,
Can sit out in the sun.
And as for my neighbor,
Well, our friendship has become,
A meaningful relationship
That's headed straight to heaven,
But as for now,
We like to sit around and listen to
Audio Adrenaline, CRANKED TO ELEVEN!