You've heard of several kinds of catAnd my opinion now is thatYou should need no interpreter to understand our characterYou've learned enough to take the viewThat cats are very much like youYou've seen us both at work and gamesAnd learnt about our proper namesOur habits and habitatBut how would you ad-dress a catSo first, your memory I'll jogAnd say: A cat is not a dogSo first, your memory I'll jogAnd say: A cat is not a dogWith cats, some say, one rule is trueDon't speak 'til you are spoken toMyself I do not hold with thatI say, you should ad-dress a catBut always bear in mind that he resents familiarityYou bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form "O Cat!"Before a cat will condescendTo treat you as a trusted friendSome little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of creamAnd you might now and then supplySome caviar or Straussburg pieSome potted grouse or salmon pasteHe's sure to have his personal tasteAnd so in time you reach your aimAnd call him by his nameA cat's entitled to expectThese evidences of respectSo this is this and that is thatAnd there's how you ad-dress a catA cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respectSo this is this and that is thatAnd there's how you ad-dress a cat
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